We used to have so much fun talking on the telephone and visiting on Skype.
Then all of a sudden ....
I never knew why.
** It was not my choice **
Your mother has blocked us.
Your father has not answered my pleas to have you call me.
I do not know the reasons.
I have no idea what you have been told.
Let me say this:
In 1996 grandpa Spurgin and I divorced.
By leaving the Church in Seattle, I became everyone's enemy.
But this is the important part: You father re-married - to a lady in the church - your stepmom, Leah.
Both the church, your (at that time) vidictive father, and the insecure stepmother, all decided to tell
the children that their mother abandoned them.
THIS WAS NEVER TRUE -- NOT TRUE THEN AND NOT TRUE NOW. Benjamin never believed it for a second and neither should you.
But the lie served everyone's purpose.
1. Anyone who chose to leave the church became the church's enemy. That's why we now call it a cult.
2. The father, as in many divorce cases, enjoyed the pain THE BIG LIE caused his ex-wife.
3. The step-mother was very territorial and wanted to put a big wall between the ex-wife and her new adopted family.
So you can see how the "your mother abandoned you" narrative would serve their purposes, no matter how false it was.
As often happens, a lie perpetrated over and over again, grows and spreads. The people who keep the lie going, year after year, eventually believe it. We have seen this in politics with the
horrendous reign of an evil president, Donald Trump. He makes up his own reality and tries to make others believe it - when it is completely false. This is what has happened with the people
mentioned above. The BIG LIE was perpetrated for unkind reasons .... to villify your grandmother and spread the poison to whomever would listen.
The Bible says it is a sin to bear false witness against thy neighbor. This is a prime example of that law. FALSE ACCUSATION.
I have videos, photographs, and the history known to your father, Leah and even church members, who, if they chose to reach down
to their spirit and speak truth, would testify that I never abandoned my children. I called every week; sometimes several times a week. I even called from my break room at work. All 3 children
visited me in my home in Las Vegas. I spoiled them rotten. I sent money, clothes, packages and goodies to them nearly every month while they were in school.
When there was a split in the church, Angela came calling to me. She enjoyed many special memories with me including a trip to New York City for her college graduation.
When Amy left the church, she came running to me. I supported her each time she fell out of favor with her dad. When she was back in their graces, she threw me away.
Both daughters decided to block me from my grandchildren, knowing what deep pain this would cause. How can
they justify this? There is no offense that they can honestly use as a reason. There has been no attempt to heal wounds and forge bonds. There has only been silence from Angela, and agression
from Amy. As is often the case in mother-daughter situations, Amy was sometimes jealous of the fun times and gifts given to you three girls.
TRUTH: I never, ever abandoned Amy - or ANY of my children. After 14 years living in the Local Church having no contact with the
outside world, I was sick, broke, without any support whatsoever and lost. So I allowed Angela to run away to the church elders because she was going to do it with or without my permission.
After a year trying to support Ben & Amy
on my own, I collapsed and had no choice but to allow them to live with their father knowing they would be provided for. Bob signed a letter promising that I could come and retrieve my beloved
children after I got on my feet. But by that time he had remarried and everything changed. THE BIG LIE WAS BORN.
If Bob Spurgin will tell the truth - he will confirm this. Even after divorce, he told people there was no better mother
to those children than I was. I gave everything I had to my children. Every. single. thing. But I would not be an enabler, or a slave. I will not violate my conscience and my spirit for anyone,
I never hesitated to embrace my children and do all that I could for them. I even sent them all a letter in 2009 asking for forgiveness
for any mistakes I may have made as a mother. I begged for them to let me help if there was anything that needed repair. I offered to pay for counseling, or any other kind of help if they
felt they needed it. I did EVERYTHING I could think of, to keep a good bond with my children.
What I would NOT do -- is ENABLE them. I call them out and challenge them when they are drifting in a sketchy direction. They never liked that. They want
to fill their world with enablers. That will never be me.
And that, I surmise, is why we became estranged.
For a few years, I enjoyed a fabulous relationship with you three girls.
When Amy wanted to get you out of her hair, she would have you call me on Skype and we would have a wonderful time together.
When Amy divorced Jonah, she wanted me to hate him as she
did at first. I wouldn't do it -- and once again I became her enemy. Amy wants friends who will "go kick their ass" when she is upset with someone. Instead, I will tell her
to take a deep breath and find what could be good about the situation. She hated that.
So - here we are. Estranged.
If you ask,
I will tell the truth and give the factual history.
But I will not defend myself against lies that grew into an all-encompasing monster hovering over my entire extended family.
PLEASE -- never assume that one person is telling the full story. Investigate ALL FACTS. Only then you will know the truth.
If you do not care for truth, fine - that is your choice.
Many people do not want very much truth in their life if it makes them
uncomfortable, or if it does not fit their "poor me" narrative.
ALL I ASK IS THAT YOU SEEK TRUTH.
Don't settle for someone else's version of the story -- in anything
Find the facts and find the truth.
I do know this:
Your phone calls and skype visits were my heart medicine.
Since you disappeared, my heart has been aching every single day.
So, my dear grandchild ....
** You must find me for yourself. **
Meanwhile - I trust you to get to know your own inner truth.
Never let anyone tell you what to think or what to feel.
You have a spirit inside where the truth lives.
It is pure.
It is trustworthy.
It is connected to God.
FOLLOW IT ALWAYS.
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I hope you will email me ----> d @ 4starbiz .com
My phone number is easy to find.
Lots of relatives can tell you how to contact me.