It's Autumn ... and the leaves are falling,
so many years gone by.
It seems the summer days of youth
have scattered to the sky.

The winds of change have come and gone
and stole the world we knew.
So many things, so quickly gone
while rushing in the new.

I find myself in quiet times,
With blisters on my hands.
I take a look into my soul
and ask, "What is a man?"



Who is this person I've become?
And what is yet to be?
Did all the lessons of my life
bring Truths that I can see?

I think of things like tenderness,
of tears of pain and joy;
unbridled honesty of things I felt
When I was just a boy.

I filled my days with foolishness,
What fun to be alive!
With adolescent fantasies,
the world was surely mine!



Sure, I had my share of hurts
and angry battles, too.
The hormones in my faded jeans
brought more than just a few.

In fact, if truth be told, I'm sure
my wife and kids would say
there never was an argument
that made me walk away.

I kept my footing strong and firm,
I handled every crunch.
But sad to say, I never learned
that women, you don't punch.



It must have been the alcohol,
a beer, a shot or two ...
It only took a sideways look
and then my temper blew.

Out in the heat, the rain, the snow,
I worked hard for my pay.
I didn't need a bunch of kids
to complicate my day.

When I was young, they taught us that
you spoke when spoken to.
How dare the wife and kids rise up
and tell me what to do!



My daughter says it's primitive,
the way I carry on.
She says she loves me to my face,
but hates me when I'm gone.

It never once occurred to me
to take pause and reflect.
Perhaps it was my German pride;
I must demand respect!

.
No matter if I'm right or wrong,
I'll always have my way.
I am the master of MY house -
they will do what I say!

But wait!  When I come home from work
the heels of shoes I see.
The flying feet of frightened kids
as they run away from me.



No hugs, no kisses greeting me,
no "Honey, how was your day?"
They don't know if I'm mad or glad,
So they just stay away.

The time has come to realize
there's no one else to blame,
I see the damage that was done
and hang my head in shame.

The kids are grown, the wife is gone.
I spend my days alone.
It could have been so different
If I had only known.



A man is measured by his heart
not by his brute or brawn.
He can't un-do the pain he caused,
His chances are all gone.

Though time has mellowed me and now
I'm not the dad they knew
I hardly see them any more;
Our visits are so few.

My kids forgive me for the past;
At least that's what they say.
But what images of fatherhood
are in their minds today?



Embedded in their heart and soul
impressions made by me.
The world is filtered through this glare
And colors what they see.

So will the past repeat itself?
Can such mistakes be undone?
Can love and healing still be found
and sweet redemption won?

I look ahead to better days
and do the best I can.
I tell myself they'll be OK;
After all, I'm just a man.